Recognizing the Lambs in My Life
Who are the lambs in your life?
I don't remember exactly where I read that question, but I read it shortly after I yelled at my two toddlers.
To recollect myself after the failure and calm myself from the overwhelm, I read the Gospel of the Day which happened to be John 21:15-25; when Jesus addresses St. Peter, asking him if he loves him then he must feed his lambs.
The corresponding Meditation of the Day on the Magnificat app was a reflection from St. Augustine:
"Do you love me?
Then feed my lambs.
Do you love me?
Then tend my sheep."
I (arrogantly) always thought motherhood would come easily to me since I spent most of life leading up to motherhood taking care of other people's children. I started babysitting for family friends at a young age, then went on to be a nanny for several different families all over the world. And obviously, I would love my own kids far more than I cared for other people's kids, so motherhood would of course be easy.
Boy, was I wrong.
While some aspects have come easily and naturally, motherhood has surprised me by bringing out unexpected sides of myself; sides I never allowed to surface, or simply just never took the time to notice. It has brought out anger, anxiety and the awareness of just how selfish I really have been throughout my life. I suppose a lack of sleep and often basic necessities takes its toll, so I cannot exactly "blame" motherhood itself as the culprit of bringing out these sides of me. Nevertheless, these sides have surfaced since becoming a mom. But there is more to being a mom than just repetitive tasks and burnout.
I need these moments of reflection and realization to call me out on the why I am a mother.
I am a mother, not simply because I wanted to be one, nor because I simply love my children with a profound love I had never experienced up until I met them.
I am a mother because it is the way God has deemed to be my personal way of showing Christ that I love Him.
These babies are the sheep who have been entrusted for me to tend; they are the lambs I am asked to feed - spiritually and physically.
They are my path to holiness.
How I treat them, how I care for them, in all the mundane daily tasks and in all the moments I feel overwhelmed, bears a reflection on how I love Christ.
St. Augustine, in his reflection goes on to say:
"Christ was entrusting Peter with his lambs to feed, while he himself was also feeding Peter. I mean, what could Peter offer the Lord, especially as he now wore an immortal body and was shortly to ascend heaven?...You will remember that the Apostle Peter, the first of all the apostles, was thrown completely off balance during the Lord's Passion; thrown off balance by himself but set the right way up again by Christ. First you see he was overconfidently trusting in himself; later he turned timid and cringing and denied the Lord....Where now is that old denier?...Now he had no reason to be afraid. After all, he could see [Christ] alive in the flesh..."
We cannot tend the sheep Christ has entrusted to us, without first receiving His love for us. We cannot give what we do not have. If we wish to love these little lambs entrusted to us, we first and foremost need to allow ourselves to be rooted in the resurrection and receive Love Itself in whatever big or small ways we can for the day, so we can then pass it on to others.
I pray that this design, whether as a wall print, wall pennant or mass tote bag serves as that little daily reminder in your own life to let yourself be filled with Christ so that you can love Him in return by loving the lambs entrusted to you.
I don't remember exactly where I read that question, but I read it shortly after I yelled at my two toddlers.
To recollect myself after the failure and calm myself from the overwhelm, I read the Gospel of the Day which happened to be John 21:15-25; when Jesus addresses St. Peter, asking him if he loves him then he must feed his lambs.
The corresponding Meditation of the Day on the Magnificat app was a reflection from St. Augustine:
"You will have noticed what was said to Peter by the Lord in a kind of interrogation: Do you love me? and how he replied, You know Lord, that I love you. The same a second and third time; and every time he answered with those words, the Lord said Feed my lambs...It's as though he were saying, 'Do you love me? Show me you love me by this means: Feed my sheep."
Growing up Catholic, the amount of times I have either read or heard that gospel passage is more than I can count, but it wasn't until now that it resonated with me on a personal level. It always seemed to me to be a conversation between Peter and Jesus and how Jesus was then entrusting Peter to look after his Church. It wasn't until this question: "who are the lambs in your life?" that I realized Jesus has been asking me this question in my own life."Do you love me?
Then feed my lambs.
Do you love me?
Then tend my sheep."
I (arrogantly) always thought motherhood would come easily to me since I spent most of life leading up to motherhood taking care of other people's children. I started babysitting for family friends at a young age, then went on to be a nanny for several different families all over the world. And obviously, I would love my own kids far more than I cared for other people's kids, so motherhood would of course be easy.
Boy, was I wrong.
While some aspects have come easily and naturally, motherhood has surprised me by bringing out unexpected sides of myself; sides I never allowed to surface, or simply just never took the time to notice. It has brought out anger, anxiety and the awareness of just how selfish I really have been throughout my life. I suppose a lack of sleep and often basic necessities takes its toll, so I cannot exactly "blame" motherhood itself as the culprit of bringing out these sides of me. Nevertheless, these sides have surfaced since becoming a mom. But there is more to being a mom than just repetitive tasks and burnout.
I need these moments of reflection and realization to call me out on the why I am a mother.
I am a mother, not simply because I wanted to be one, nor because I simply love my children with a profound love I had never experienced up until I met them.
I am a mother because it is the way God has deemed to be my personal way of showing Christ that I love Him.
These babies are the sheep who have been entrusted for me to tend; they are the lambs I am asked to feed - spiritually and physically.
They are my path to holiness.
How I treat them, how I care for them, in all the mundane daily tasks and in all the moments I feel overwhelmed, bears a reflection on how I love Christ.
St. Augustine, in his reflection goes on to say:
"Christ was entrusting Peter with his lambs to feed, while he himself was also feeding Peter. I mean, what could Peter offer the Lord, especially as he now wore an immortal body and was shortly to ascend heaven?...You will remember that the Apostle Peter, the first of all the apostles, was thrown completely off balance during the Lord's Passion; thrown off balance by himself but set the right way up again by Christ. First you see he was overconfidently trusting in himself; later he turned timid and cringing and denied the Lord....Where now is that old denier?...Now he had no reason to be afraid. After all, he could see [Christ] alive in the flesh..."
We cannot tend the sheep Christ has entrusted to us, without first receiving His love for us. We cannot give what we do not have. If we wish to love these little lambs entrusted to us, we first and foremost need to allow ourselves to be rooted in the resurrection and receive Love Itself in whatever big or small ways we can for the day, so we can then pass it on to others.
I pray that this design, whether as a wall print, wall pennant or mass tote bag serves as that little daily reminder in your own life to let yourself be filled with Christ so that you can love Him in return by loving the lambs entrusted to you.